My semester is going well. My jobs are going well. I am becoming a bit more established as a community member in my town. I cashed in a punchcard for a free coffee on Tuesday, it was thrilling. The barista knows my name, I am mustering up the courage to ask her to be friends with me. I haven’t made too many friends in my program except for one girl. We have different approaches to work ethic but we have the same priorities when it comes to getting a drink after a late Thursday night class.

Earlier this month an old friend kissed me. I had suggested it. We do not live in close proximity anymore but once upon a time we had a scheduled meet up every Sunday night to drink and fill out the Washington Post Crossword.

Before things unraveled into body parts and heavy petting he said “I want to, I don’t think we should”. Those words have been clattering around my mind like marbles. Why? Am I not irresistible? Clearly on some level yes I am because he chose not to resist. Intertwined arms and legs, whispering, so late that it’s early. That is perfect kissing atmosphere.

I am not sure if a hook up is possible with someone unless I know absolutely nothing about them. On Valentine’s Day of 2025, I took a man home and we bathed each other. He told me it was more intimate than any experience he had with ex-girlfriends. I don’t even remember his name, nor his face. Only his hairy legs and belly remain branded into my mind. I never saw him again. I am an intimate encounter but I am not reliable for a long time stay.

It is funny I think about my future, of course I instinctually want to have a life partner but when envision myself at 45 or 65, there is a blurred out void standing next to me. I should really mentally replace that with something better like a life size cut out of Bugs Bunny.

I am too busy for anything local right now anyway. Almost all of my hours are filled with work, school, commuting, ripping CDs from the library, sleeping, caring for my four-legged roommates. This list goes on. I don’t even see my friends consistently. I have heard that this predicament is caused by age.

Tomorrow I have a presentation in my Organics class. I am excited for the topic and think I will be able to effectively relay the information. Off to class now, and as mentioned, then to drinks with my only friend at school. One in each place I frequent is good, more than that wouldn’t be manageable for me.